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Friday, April 23, 2010

Wanted: A Friend

Do you have a friend?  I mean a true, stand with you, whatever may come, friend?  I can honestly say I do not.  I signed up to review a book by Lisa Whelchel about friendship, I just received it and haven't started it yet, but it got me to thinking about my lack of a true friend.

Before some of you read this and say "wait, I thought I was your friend" let me get through this post and then maybe you will see what I mean.

The short version:
I grew up in a small town, and had one childhood friend, the kind of friend that you do everything with- sleepovers, camp, school, church, everything.  Then the teenage years hit, and we are no longer allowed to continue the friendship, because of the direction or lack of that my best friend is headed. (Mom if you are reading this- I totally understand why, and would do the same thing with my own kids.)
The teenage years for me were not about "girl" friends, but about boyfriends. The college years had "friends" that are "friends" in college but don't continue much past that except an occasional status update via facebook
Marriage brings a whole new opening for friendship, unfortunately for me when you move every couple of years it is hard to have a lasting friendship.  I did have a super good friend ( who is probably reading this) yes, you are my friend, but we once again moved, and life happens and friendship is hard long distance. Maybe it doesn't have to be- maybe I will get some pointers once I read the book, we'll see.

I think over time I have given up on finding and keeping that true friend, you know the kind that you can tell everything too, you can hang out with, the kind that likes your husband and your kids (all of them).

I decided to look up the word Friend and according to dictionary.com the meaning of Friend is: a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

After reading that I can honestly say I do not have that true friend.  Here is what breaks my heart- my children don't have a friend either- sadly their first and only true friends that they have had the last four years are back in Texas.  I am so sad for my kids - birthday's are right around the corner and they don't have a single friend to invite.   I don't want that for my kids.  Thankfully children make friends better than adults, and if we stay in one spot long enough they will have friends.   I am not writing to get your sympathy- but to ask you to take a step back and look at yourself.  Do you have a friend, do your children?  Are you a good friend?  Do you try to make new friends or are you happy with what you have? 

As I move alot I know that once someone is an adult they often have a life filled with everything they need, including friends, but have you thought that maybe there is someone out there that may need a friend?  Maybe you are that friend!

The Bible says in Proverbs 18:24 A man [that hath] friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend [that] sticketh closer than a brother.


thaeter7 said...

I hear you!
I grew up overseas and moved to Britain.
I had a friend but sadly moved to this country ,where I became good friends with a lovely lady.
I divorced and we parted ways,She divorced and we have lost touch.
The town where I live now,I have been here 25 years and have run a hair salon out of my home.
A lot of wonderful clients that Ihave but not one friend that I could count on or go shopping with.
A lot of chatting with women every day ,but not one girlfriend that comes to visit,or to hang out with.
I think it gets harder to meet that great true friend as we get older.
My husband and I are moving to another area in a few weeks.
My customers seem to be shocked that "I dont know anybody " where we are moving to!
My husband has great friends that he grew up with and can count on them at any time to help.
He plays cards once a month with the boys,which is great.
I am glad that I have recently discovered how to use the computer and with all the wonderful blogging sites that i have discovered,it has kept my sanity and have enjoyed talking to "Real people" like yourself.
My clients would think that I was crazy if I told them that i didn't have a friend.
They also think I am crazy when I show them the latest prize that I have won from entering contests!
They dont know what they are missing!
Great talking to you and to know that there are other people going through the same thing!

Brittany said...

Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest. I loved reading this post. I grew up as an Army brat and I am now married to an Army man. With all of the moving that goes on it's hard to maintain those "true" friends. New follower. Hope you have a blessed day! :)

Caleb and Emily's Mommy said...

I miss you Brodie!!!!!

Becky said...

I know what it is like. We have moved a lot, so it is hard to want to make those kinds of friendships over and over, but keep your heart open to others...those kinds of friendships take time.

Hugs to you, Brodie!

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